Monday, March 23, 2015

That Rose

That rose
That Rose


The rear side of house and backyard was lit by a small dusty lamp. The drainage pipe was connected to the wall at a point in line with the window sill. Pipe shook as he climbed, swaying a little more with each pull, but he knew that it will hold his weight. He had been using this pipe since last three months. Victor had newly joined high school after moving to this town. His father’s transfer had brought him here and Aditi being a gabby girl in the class, became his first friend in the first week itself. Soon after few weeks of their friendship, they were occasionally seen lurking in the backside of football ground and often teased as a secret couple in school. Pipe was slippery today, perhaps because of drizzle. Victor climbed to a certain height and then swung his legs until he got his feet onto the window sill. Aditi, immediately closed the curtains after pulling him inside her room. Victor held her pressing her back against the wall, holding her wrists trapped above her head. As usual he had a rose in his lips. He always brought a rose for Aditi, despite of the fact that Aditi never liked roses, she infact liked a flower but didn’t know its name. This April of 1995 was special; it was Aditi’s birthday tomorrow. A blade of moonlight slipped from the curtains, casting a beam upon her face. He kissed her, while she kept her eyes closed. He gave a set of silver anklets. It was their last meeting, atleast for now. Despite of Aditi’s arguments and pleas, her family did not agree on leaving her alone in this city, they were all shifting to a famous metro city in Karnataka.

After completing her graduation in computer science, now Aditi was working for a famous IT consultancy. They both had lost contact in these years. He never called her or perhaps he never had her phone number and Aditi too never visited back the same city. Today while she was drinking coffee in the cafeteria, she felt his presence or perhaps she was missing him, she had always missed him. She finished her coffee and returned to her cubicle. As she sat in front of her computer, she was startled to see a rose on her table waiting for her with an unopened letter. There was no name on it.

40 comments:

  1. Interesting story here, need to read it more. Keep on writing and keep us posted.

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    1. Thanks for these words, means a lot to me. please subscribe by email option.

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  2. Nice shot of the rose...looking forward to the continuation and what's in the letter ;)

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    1. hehe...even I too want to write next part of it. I'll let you know whenever i'll do so. btw its my pleasure that you liked this pic.

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  3. Wow man! That photo of the rose is amazing. You are really talented. I think you have a future in photography.

    I have just a sincere recommendation for you. Try to make your posts easier to read by changing paragraphs every 4-5 lines. Longer paragraphs might be confusing or tiring for the reader.

    You can also think of using subheadlines and bold or italics text which makes your coppy stand out.

    Regards
    damian

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    1. Thanks a lot for valuable comment, feedback accepted. you will definitely find some changes in my coming stories :)

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  4. Why do I sense something painful coming? I'd love to know what's in the letter.

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    1. haha...perhaps because you are intelligent. please subscribe by mail, i'll definitely write the next part of this story :)

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  5. oh man, why did you end it there? please reveal what's written in the letter soon!

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    1. @Mia: please wait and subscribe to this blog for updates. Soon you will be reading the next part of this story. I'll make sure its worth waiting for. thanks for your comment.

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  6. what does the letter say?!!! it feels like I'm watching a drama/tv series lol

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    1. @Nicol: That is the sweetest thing to hear :) i'll post the next part very soon. please keep read other stories till then. Thanks again for your sweet comment.

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  7. I'm really fascinated by the story and the pic. I would love to know what the letter says. Please don't leave us in suspense. :)

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    1. @Amanda: I had never expected this much love. I promise you all that you will read the next part very soon :) though love always hurts ;-) please subscribe to the blog for regular updates. Thanks for your sweet comment.

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  8. It's beautifully written... Is this a section of a long story? Or is it a short story? Cuz I couldn't get head or tail of it despite the beautiful words.

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    1. @Tiffany: It is just a short fictional story or perhaps it WAS just a short story. However, I have made my mind to write and post the next part of story very soon. I hope you will like that too. I always thought people never liked reading this much :P thanks for the love. Tiffany please subscribe the blog so that you can get updates of coming stories.Have a good day.

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  9. interesting story.. keep it up with the writing :) I just read this part of the story and I'm now curious as to what will happen to their love story :)

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    1. @Berylle:This is the only part I have written so far. I am glad that many people liked it and are also curios to know more. Soon I will post the next part.Thanks for reading this blog. Have a good day.

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  10. OOOHHH, interesting, I hope Aditi and Victor get to rekindle their lost love.

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    1. @Phylicia: sure they will meet again and rekindle their lost love.Thanks.

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  11. Fascinating how you tried to describe the setting while giving the background of the characters. Keep on writing.

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    1. Thanks @katrina. I hope you will also like upcoming stories and posts.Have a great time.

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  12. Nice rose photo. and if I can suggest one thing, make your paragraph compact for the readers to easily grasp what you are telling them.

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    1. @Papaleng: Feedback accepted. Thanks for the suggestion.

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  13. Lovely photo of rose... Interesting story and hope my comment inspire you to keep on writing!

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    1. @Kylie: I am sure about that.Thanks for nice words. God bless you.

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  14. I wonder who gave the rose. It leaves a lot of mystery to think about.

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    1. @Franc: what do you think about the next part?? any suggestions? Thanks for reading this blog.

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  15. That is a beautiful and thoughtful post... The world is really as we see it. Gorgeous rose.

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    1. @Eliz: Precisely.This world is nothing but the reflection of our thoughts. God bless you. Keep visiting this blog.

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  16. The rose looks pretty and I love the post that you've written, too :)

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  17. I have written a story similar to this where the girl left and met the body in the end. But has a different plot of course. I like how you ended it because I am looking forward to the next part!

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    1. @kareen: can you please share the link of your story? I would love to read that piece of art. and what do you think about the next part? How this story should move?

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  18. Every Epic Story Has a Great Beginning Like Yours.. Hoping For an Epic Ending..!!

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    1. @Sanam: thanks for your words.I hope you will like the ending too.

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  19. I hope they'll see each other again this time. It keeps me hangin'

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  20. ohhhh my dear how i could miss this story for so long................
    BEST STORY..... keep writing

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  21. thanks dear, your words are great motivation. keep reading.

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